Monday, December 19, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
A Confesssion (Warning: Possible E.D. Trigger)
Hi guys! I have something to tell you. This is why my posting has been so sparse lately.
When I started Stripped, I was taking a year off from school because of illness. I had a lot of free time to devote to this project. But when I started school again for my junior year, things got a little (read: insanely) busy. However, now as a senior, I find myself with a measure of uncommited time again (yay!).That's not why I've been AWOL, though. A contributing factor, but not the main reason.
Let me say now that I'm fortunate enough to have wonderful, positive people in my life who tell me every day that I am beautiful and valuable. And a lot of the time I believe it. Heck, I even have strangers stop me on the street all the time to tell me how attractive I am. I believe these people maybe a good 70% of the time.
But here's the deal. That 30% of unbelief is pretty feirce. I deal with a lot of my own body-hate every day. Over the last year I've changed sizes multiples times and gotten (even!) taller. I am a stranger in my own body right now. I've always had the feeling (the fear, really) of being a kind of brute, some kind of hulking she-monster. I was always taller and bigger than everyone I knew. I was able to pick up my teachers with one arm when I was in middle school (yes, I tried it, to their dismay). I was taller than all the girls, and taller than all the boys too.
Society says that girls (and women and "ladies") are supposed to be dainty. I'm not dainty at all. A lipstick-loving super-femme, yes, but not tiny and precious and pocket-sized. And that makes me feel really bad some times. Bad enough that I skip meals and obsess over calories. Bad enough that I want to sit down and cry. Sometimes bad enough that I really want to die, because I feel completely helpless and hopless and estranged from my body.
And then I think about all these beautiful bodies I've photographed over the last two years, how brave and wonderful all these people are. How I'm suppsosed to stand for something with this project. I'm not saying I don't belive my ideals. I really, truly believe that all bodies are beautiful.. But some times I simply can't believe it about myself, no matter how hard I try.
And...It makes me feel like a hypocrite.
Really, it comes down to this: how can I reconcile my feelings of insecurity with my pro-body stance?
I wish that I was some super-person who never felt any negativity towards her own body, but I'm not. I'm just as fragile and insecure as the next person. I love you all, and I'm going to keep this project going no matter what. I just wanted to get that off my chest (pun, maybe?).
When I started Stripped, I was taking a year off from school because of illness. I had a lot of free time to devote to this project. But when I started school again for my junior year, things got a little (read: insanely) busy. However, now as a senior, I find myself with a measure of uncommited time again (yay!).That's not why I've been AWOL, though. A contributing factor, but not the main reason.
Let me say now that I'm fortunate enough to have wonderful, positive people in my life who tell me every day that I am beautiful and valuable. And a lot of the time I believe it. Heck, I even have strangers stop me on the street all the time to tell me how attractive I am. I believe these people maybe a good 70% of the time.
But here's the deal. That 30% of unbelief is pretty feirce. I deal with a lot of my own body-hate every day. Over the last year I've changed sizes multiples times and gotten (even!) taller. I am a stranger in my own body right now. I've always had the feeling (the fear, really) of being a kind of brute, some kind of hulking she-monster. I was always taller and bigger than everyone I knew. I was able to pick up my teachers with one arm when I was in middle school (yes, I tried it, to their dismay). I was taller than all the girls, and taller than all the boys too.
Society says that girls (and women and "ladies") are supposed to be dainty. I'm not dainty at all. A lipstick-loving super-femme, yes, but not tiny and precious and pocket-sized. And that makes me feel really bad some times. Bad enough that I skip meals and obsess over calories. Bad enough that I want to sit down and cry. Sometimes bad enough that I really want to die, because I feel completely helpless and hopless and estranged from my body.
And then I think about all these beautiful bodies I've photographed over the last two years, how brave and wonderful all these people are. How I'm suppsosed to stand for something with this project. I'm not saying I don't belive my ideals. I really, truly believe that all bodies are beautiful.. But some times I simply can't believe it about myself, no matter how hard I try.
And...It makes me feel like a hypocrite.
Really, it comes down to this: how can I reconcile my feelings of insecurity with my pro-body stance?
I wish that I was some super-person who never felt any negativity towards her own body, but I'm not. I'm just as fragile and insecure as the next person. I love you all, and I'm going to keep this project going no matter what. I just wanted to get that off my chest (pun, maybe?).
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
I don't want you to think that I'm dead, guys.
Because I'm not. Neither is this site. STRIPPED WILL NEVER DIE!
I've just beenkind of really, super busy. Like, multiple-brushes-with-death kind of busy.
However, summer's coming up, which means I'll have some free time (i.e. time to update the site)!
Of course, as always, I'm taking online submissions. And if you get lonely, you can always take my survey.
- G
I've just been
However, summer's coming up, which means I'll have some free time (i.e. time to update the site)!
Of course, as always, I'm taking online submissions. And if you get lonely, you can always take my survey.
- G
Monday, March 21, 2011
Survey Says...Day 4 (Updated!)
What have been the major factors in shaping your opinion about your body (family, friends, media, etc.)?
- Early childhood experiences, the relationship between puberty & the process in its newly acquired sexualisation, the way in which the media distorts the human figure to unrealistic dimensions. Id also have to mention the transition from childhood to teenagehood again as my experience in the first year of secondary school was both baffling & distressing, i believe the way in which you become accepted by your peers be it negatively or positively has a huge impact on your early adult like perceptions of yourself. For me, highschool proved quite negative in the early years as self-worth/esteem is so easily moulded by the opinions those around you & the instinctual need within you to find acceptance can distort your personal self worth substantially.
- My girlfriends have all the female surgeries out there,and they are still beautifulLoosing your breasts,uterus etc doesnt make you less sexy,\i believe the strenght within and determination is in our eyes and our soul.
- i want to still meet ladies, but no matter what i try, i will always have a podge
- Mostly the internet,and the media and the fluid,ever changing measurement of all things female.
- My mother walked around naked on a regular basis as I was growing up, which I think helped me form a realistic image of women. However, the media tries to sell whatever idea makes the most money, and it is generally at the cost of women's self-image.
- I stay away from media as much as possible, because what it portrays is so unrealistic. I will continue to envy friends who are smaller than me, with smaller boobs and less ass than me. But I've also had the pleasure to meet and work with some amazing ladies who have been teaching me to love and flaunt my curves, which has been such a gift.
- Whether or not a man wants to have sex withme
- Being weighed in grade school; peers in grade school, middle school, and high school. My mother, with her constant dieting and putting me on diets. My dad calling me fat.
- The people around me. In high school they were size 8, I was size 10 (Australian sizing). I was curvy, they were not so much.
- For awhile it was society up until now
- In school I was made fun of, I remember distinctly one day when I was in class. On the chalk board you had to write your name when you excused yourself to go to the restroom. I finally grew the courage to go up in front of everybody to write my name on the board, not only did the guy behind me holler "it's a FULL moon out tonight!", but when I came back, my name had been erased and in place of it was "Diseased Cow".... Did I mention this was the second time this boy had done this to me? (this was in the SIXTH grade, I am now 21, the first time he had done this to me I was in the FIFTH grade.) Ever since that first day, I felt terrible about my body, my face, everything. Recently something just clicked in my head.... I have no idea what triggered it, but it happened, and I feel great about it. My opinions on my body have changed.
- Media and friends...and family expectations
- High school ruined my self confidence.
- Older brother use to pick on me and caused some low self esteem. Not much other than that.
- I am constantly bombarded with negative (and sometimes positive) thoughts and feelings about my body based on the media. It's hard not to compare myself to other moms I know.
- I think it's the media; all the images floating around.
- All of the above! My nana thought I didn't eat enough. I'm really into fashion and politics. And we know there are a lot of hidden messages there.
- Definitely the media. It took me a long time to learn that almost nobody looks like women in magazines, and more importantly, if I was doing a photoshoot they would photoshop me until I looked that perfect! That doesn't just apply to me, I mean they can pretty much make anyone "ideally" beautiful with a lot of makeup, lighting and photoshop. My friends have been all different sizes and as I've gotten older I've realized how quirky all our bodies are! Aside from icky friends who tell me that I'm underweight or I have ugly hair, my opinion about my body has been shaped positively by my social life. My family is very conflicted; my dad believes that a healthy body is all that counts while my mom believes that being heavy is worth feeling guilty over. In general, though, I would definitely have to say that the media has given me the most information about how I should look.
- I was severely underweight as a child and young adult, so I never had a "masculine" body at any point in my life.
- My parents were generally good about my appearance but sometimes would make stupid comments about "do you really need to eat that?" I've gotten both more insecure and more resolved to be healthy after forming friendships with a lot of people recovering from eating disorders. When they complain about their (beautiful) bodies it is hard to stay rational and remember that just because you are bigger than them doesn't mean you're less attractive. But seeing how insane their EDs have made them, and the warped way they view the world, made me only want to stay healthy and avoid falling into that trap.
- Family.
- My negative feelings about my body come from the media and cruel people. I have learned to love my body on my own and with the help of those closest to me who see my body as it is and love it.
- Friends have affected me the most in body image. Listening to them complement themselves or put themselves down makes me instinctively compare myself to them.
Head on over and give the survey a whirl.
Survey says... Day #3 (Updated!)
What do other people think about your body?:
- I don't completely know, i brush off compliments like a nasty bug on my shoulder for the most part, i assume that if they admire it any sense then they are beautifully, kind persons, the kind that can see your features in a far moreonly a positive light. So to summarize id say they
- I am 5'5 115 ils,I am fit and friendly to all.I have been propositioned everywhere.Safeway,carwash,pet stores,you name,they are there.I think my nature attracts men,I am always smiling,and happy
- don't know, no one wants to see it. don't blame them
- The jury is still deliberating that question. But it seems to change with time and the effects of being a mom in a mom body.
- Many people think I am too thin. I was actually happiest with myself when I was about 10 lb lighter, but I have a much healthier perspective now. A previous boyfriend commented many times, "the thinner the better," and I believed him for a while until I stood back and realized that I had an unhealthily obsessive lifestyle.
- I like to think most people like my body. My mother spent most of my life until very recently telling me I ate too much, and was too fat, just because she was a size two at my age and is now borderline obese thanks to medication abuse and other health problems. I've only had one man look at me naked and tell me I was gorgeous, and it hit me harder than a ton of bricks.
- Lord only knows. I figure since my husband is a porn adict he hates my body
- I am sure most people think it's fat.
- No idea. Well, my husband doesn't seem to mind, but he's biased.
- I don't know
- They all say that they wish they were as tiny as me, I'm 5'2" and 165lbs... I'm not tiny, I just hold myself the way that I feel is "beautiful".
- I hide it so don't know ... partner seems to still like it
- My Fiancée loves me for me, as does my family... But as far as strangers, I do not ask. I would rather them not look at me.
- They always wonder how I stay thin. I usually tell them my secret is to eat a wide variety of foods, and don't stop moving.
- I really don't know. I know my husband likes it.
- No idea. I never ask and people never tell me.
- They think I'm small, with a big butt. But not deathly small. Not big either. Just right!
- I think most people would approve of it. My friends are really accepting of nudity, they've basically taught me that everyone has their bodily "flaws" and when you're all naked together you're all pretty equal! I think my family is okay with my body because I am not outwardly unhealthy (as in, being overweight, or another visible problem). I get looked at by guys fairly often so I think I have a desirable body.
- They like it.
- I think they think I'm too skinny sometimes, but usually healthy, just small? I don't know.
- That I'm thin and pretty, I'm told
- People usually have two opinions of it. Some absolutely love it while others absolutely hate it and call me fat. Those who do almost always love the size of my chest. I really hate it when people call me fat just because I am several sizes bigger than a skinny girl. Then again fuck them they are missing out on the coziness.
- I've been told I'm sexy, pretty, cute, ect. The rebound is whether or not someone is interested in me because I have big boobs.
If you want to contribute, click the link and make your voice heard.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Survey Says... Day #2 (Updated!)
How do you feel about your body?:
Head over to the survey to contribute.
|
Survey says... Day #1 (Updated! With New Responses!)
Time for the results from my SURVEY!
I asked readers "What is beauty?" and they replied:
- Its opening up your eyes wider, it's a feeling, an expression, self-objective perception, its physical, spiritual & emotional and it truly is everywhere.
- beauty is the lovely,good stuff inside yout mind and bobyI amproud of my,
- The Adult female naked body, there is nothing more sublime, then a naked women between the ages of 18 and 118
- Beauty is that something inside each person that makes us comfortable being us. And,It works fine until we begin to have our self belief challenged by the world around us.
- The positive feelings we get from experiencing (seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, or tasting) something that pleases us encompass beauty. Sometimes in expected places, sometimes unexpected, it is finding pleasure.
- Beauty is the ability to see yourself as a whole item: full to the brim with intelligence, self-worth, sexiness, femininity (or masculinity), poise, and all the sugar and spice that makes you feel nice. More specifically, beauty is whatever you make of it. Some people feel most beautiful when they are dressed up and glamourous, some feel most beautiful wearing men's clothing. And some people feel most beautiful with no clothing at all. Beauty is about inward reflection.
- It is something visual that makes me happy
- Mother breastfeeding her baby.
- How you feel
- Something that that is seen or felt from within ones own mind.
- The way you act or feel, I believe. The way you talk, the way you love... you've got a choice to be beautiful.
- Confidence,happiness and being at one with urself
- beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
- Personality first. Higher sense of compassion 2nd. 3rd would have to be a killer body.
- I think beauty is being confidant in yourself.
- It really depends. One definition is "healthy," but when you see a patient fighting to survive you can't say s/he is not beautiful.
- That warm fuzzy feeling you get when you look at something.
- That's a really good question. I think it's something that someone possesses. I feel like I either think someone is beautiful, or I don't. I definitely am not talking about looks alone, I mean the "whole package".
- Stillness.
- Beauty only counts to the beholder, and it's something that makes you happy. That's why we see beauty in the eyes and looks of the people we love, no matter what they look like.
- Highly subjective yet very culturally ingrained as one ideal
- Beauty is what you perceive as being pleasurable to you . The quote "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" definitely says it all. It varies from person to person.
- I don't even know how to begin answering this.
If you want to contribute, click the link and make your voice heard.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.
- J.K. Rowling, The Daily Mail (5/12/06)
- J.K. Rowling, The Daily Mail (5/12/06)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Guest Post: Suzanne Willis
So after a long day at work, I was quite excited to come home and relax and just watch TV. Now since my lovely Pittsburgh Penguins had been eliminated from the Stanley Cup playoffs, I had no choice but to scroll through the channels of my TV and try and find something else. Well low and behold, on NBC, The Miss USA pageant was on. After careful consideration, this is what I have decided.
REASONS WHY I WILL NEVER BE MISS USA:
1) I am not a size 0. This program began with these young women basically gyrating across the stage in their bikinis. Not one girl was the size of the average American women. So, seeing as how I am not a twig, I cannot compete.
2) Now let’s just say I am able to twig down, and I decide I want to run for Miss USA, I still won’t make it because I cannot acquire the right “mermaid” esque dress, or the right “accentuate the positives dress.” When the young women were doing their walk across the stage, they were asked why they picked the dress that they wore. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT DEFINES A WOMAN. So seeing as how I do not know the difference between an A-line and a Sweetheart style, I will never be Miss America.
3) I love America. I love being from the United States. That being said, I do not feel the need to hype up Amuuuuuuuuurica every two seconds. So When this next young lady (and the future winner who bears a striking resemblance to Kim Kardashian, who again represents the average American woman obviously) was asked about competing in this pageant, and how she wasn’t going to let finances be an issue, she began to talk about how she was going to sell her car, which was a Ford, because, “we buy everything American.” Well I guess me and my Honda can’t compete with the winner of Miss USA. So because I do not own an American car, I can’t be Miss USA
4) I fail at pretty poses. At the end of this two hour debacle, they had the women pose so the judges could get one last look. THEY STOOD THEIR AND MADE DIFFERENT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ALL THE WHILE WEARING A RITZY DITZY BALL GOWN. So seeing as how I lack the poise and balance to stand prettily, I will never be Miss USA.
5) I am not a Victoria’s Secret model. On the Website for Miss USA, they had all 50 contestants pose in lingerie. They also had it so that the girls could be rated on a scale of 1 to 5. I want to point out that most of these girls averaged a 2 or a 3. I am wondering what a 4 or a 5 looks like. These women claim that they want to inspire young women. Inspire them to what I ask? Pose in their underwear? The Winner of last year’s pageant talked about how she was so glad that she was able to inspire young women to dream big. Since when did “Dreaming Big” become about winning a beauty pageant? What happened to wanting to a doctor, or a lawyer, president or even just accomplishing what your heart desires? Why does your future have to be based on your looks?
Finally, I would just like to say that it sickens me how much the media and music and television promote that women have to look a certain way. It makes me so sad that women think their worth is based on their looks. Be happy with yourself. Do not let someone or something define you and make you feel inferior. If there is something about yourself that you don’t like then go change it, but don’t risk your health or your sanity for vanity. Being a woman rocks. I may not be entirely comfortable with myself, but I am okay with not being Miss USA.
REASONS WHY I WILL NEVER BE MISS USA:
1) I am not a size 0. This program began with these young women basically gyrating across the stage in their bikinis. Not one girl was the size of the average American women. So, seeing as how I am not a twig, I cannot compete.
2) Now let’s just say I am able to twig down, and I decide I want to run for Miss USA, I still won’t make it because I cannot acquire the right “mermaid” esque dress, or the right “accentuate the positives dress.” When the young women were doing their walk across the stage, they were asked why they picked the dress that they wore. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT DEFINES A WOMAN. So seeing as how I do not know the difference between an A-line and a Sweetheart style, I will never be Miss America.
3) I love America. I love being from the United States. That being said, I do not feel the need to hype up Amuuuuuuuuurica every two seconds. So When this next young lady (and the future winner who bears a striking resemblance to Kim Kardashian, who again represents the average American woman obviously) was asked about competing in this pageant, and how she wasn’t going to let finances be an issue, she began to talk about how she was going to sell her car, which was a Ford, because, “we buy everything American.” Well I guess me and my Honda can’t compete with the winner of Miss USA. So because I do not own an American car, I can’t be Miss USA
4) I fail at pretty poses. At the end of this two hour debacle, they had the women pose so the judges could get one last look. THEY STOOD THEIR AND MADE DIFFERENT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ALL THE WHILE WEARING A RITZY DITZY BALL GOWN. So seeing as how I lack the poise and balance to stand prettily, I will never be Miss USA.
5) I am not a Victoria’s Secret model. On the Website for Miss USA, they had all 50 contestants pose in lingerie. They also had it so that the girls could be rated on a scale of 1 to 5. I want to point out that most of these girls averaged a 2 or a 3. I am wondering what a 4 or a 5 looks like. These women claim that they want to inspire young women. Inspire them to what I ask? Pose in their underwear? The Winner of last year’s pageant talked about how she was so glad that she was able to inspire young women to dream big. Since when did “Dreaming Big” become about winning a beauty pageant? What happened to wanting to a doctor, or a lawyer, president or even just accomplishing what your heart desires? Why does your future have to be based on your looks?
Finally, I would just like to say that it sickens me how much the media and music and television promote that women have to look a certain way. It makes me so sad that women think their worth is based on their looks. Be happy with yourself. Do not let someone or something define you and make you feel inferior. If there is something about yourself that you don’t like then go change it, but don’t risk your health or your sanity for vanity. Being a woman rocks. I may not be entirely comfortable with myself, but I am okay with not being Miss USA.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Guest Post: Mary Mauney
* Thanks Mary for this great post!*
- - - - - - - -
“I don’t know why girls want to be skinny and anorexic-looking. I like curvy girls.”
“Guys like girls with curves.”
“Being TOO skinny isn’t attractive to men.”
“Girls need a little junk in the trunk.”
“You should eat, a little meat on your bones looks good.”
I keep hearing this from men. It comes up every time the issue of body acceptance occurs in any way, or even seemingly out of the blue. They seem to think that they’re ‘helping’ in some way by making these statements, that they deserve pats on the backs or cookies for such an ‘enlightened’ view. They seem to expect me just about gush about how RIGHT they are and how GREAT it is to hear a guy say that.
Know why I don’t?
Because it’s not about what men want. Dear guys, I know this flies in the face of everything society tells you about the goals and motivations of women, but it is not about you. The issues of body acceptance--for ALL bodies, not just the ones YOU find attractive, whether those are skinny or curvy or whatever--cannot be boiled down to ‘girls just want guys to like them so they try to be skinny’ and definitely should not be followed, which it usually is, with the additional statement that men like “curvy” women to begin with. There’s a whole lot of fallacy packed into this. Firstly, not all women are attracted to men. Secondly, not all men are attracted to women. Thirdly, those men that are attracted to women are not all attracted to the same body type. And fourthly, thanks for the implication that eating disorders and body image issues is all just our own fault being ~*silly*~ and must be just us poor clueless womenfolk not realizing we already have the body to please men--or at least the male speaker. Yup, this is just about women wanting to please men and getting mixed up about how to do it! But now we’re saved, because a man has assured that he likes curves! Hallelujah!
Oh my god, shut up.
There are a million fucking things that go in to anorexia and bulimia than the idea that men want thin women and we should answer that call. I would say that’s NOT part of it--it definitely is, and we are definitely told that we need a man and don’t deserve one if we aren’t pretty (read: thin) enough. But it’s also that the ‘average’ women we are presented with in our shows, our magazines, every ounce of media we are bombarded with every day, is someone who is being presented as normal yet is, by societal standards, incredibly gorgeous and extraordinarily slim. Take a look at your favorite shows. How do the female characters look? How do the male characters look? Which gender gets to be old, to be fat, to have a facial scar? I love Law & Order SVU, but Olivia could not get away with being Munce’s age and expect to be a regular character on that show. If Danny DeVito and Jack Black were women, they would not, in all likelihood, have been able to make it where they are today, even with twice the talent, and if they had, their bodies, and their worth as human beings, would be judged mercilessly by the public eye. Fat men are seen as having failed at fitness, but fat women are seen as having failed at being people.
And sometimes it’s not even about being thin. Sometimes its about wanting some control over your life or your body in a world where both have been taken out of your hands. Sometimes it about wanting some kind of agency over your body after someone took that agency away by force. Sometimes it’s about punishing your body for having been what that someone used to hurt you. Sometimes it’s about trying to make your outside look as frail and fragile as you feel inside because that is the only way you feel allowed to convey your feelings. Sometimes, dear men, it is not about what you and your cock want from us. And when it is, the solution is NOT to assure women that they are fine the way they are because YOU like them. That just maintains the idea that we need approval for our bodies at all, that the way we feel about our bodies should be dependent on how much they please other people instead of if they’re healthy, not to mention the idea that women should be striving for the approval for men in particular.
You like curvy women? Great. You wanna say what you like? Great. But when you phrase it as if it’s the fucking answer to all anorexia ever, you need to sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and get some fucking perspective about just what you’re implying when you basically say that because you prize this body type, women should have it, no matter WHAT that body type is. Don’t tell me shit about what my body “should” have, whether it’s curves or a big butt or a little belly or zero percent body fat. I didn’t ask you. I don’t need your permission. I don’t need your advice. I don’t need your approval. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK AND IT PISSES ME OFF YOU SEEM SO SURE THAT I AND MY VAGINA DO.
(Oh yeah--and some of us don’t have curves because that’s how we are. I really appreciate all the implications that we’re undesirable or only have these bodies because we MUST be sick and starving ourselves. Fuck you again, my “womanliness” (whatever the hell that is) is not defined by my hips being wide anymore than it is by the number on the scale being low.)
- - - - - - - -
“I don’t know why girls want to be skinny and anorexic-looking. I like curvy girls.”
“Guys like girls with curves.”
“Being TOO skinny isn’t attractive to men.”
“Girls need a little junk in the trunk.”
“You should eat, a little meat on your bones looks good.”
I keep hearing this from men. It comes up every time the issue of body acceptance occurs in any way, or even seemingly out of the blue. They seem to think that they’re ‘helping’ in some way by making these statements, that they deserve pats on the backs or cookies for such an ‘enlightened’ view. They seem to expect me just about gush about how RIGHT they are and how GREAT it is to hear a guy say that.
Know why I don’t?
Because it’s not about what men want. Dear guys, I know this flies in the face of everything society tells you about the goals and motivations of women, but it is not about you. The issues of body acceptance--for ALL bodies, not just the ones YOU find attractive, whether those are skinny or curvy or whatever--cannot be boiled down to ‘girls just want guys to like them so they try to be skinny’ and definitely should not be followed, which it usually is, with the additional statement that men like “curvy” women to begin with. There’s a whole lot of fallacy packed into this. Firstly, not all women are attracted to men. Secondly, not all men are attracted to women. Thirdly, those men that are attracted to women are not all attracted to the same body type. And fourthly, thanks for the implication that eating disorders and body image issues is all just our own fault being ~*silly*~ and must be just us poor clueless womenfolk not realizing we already have the body to please men--or at least the male speaker. Yup, this is just about women wanting to please men and getting mixed up about how to do it! But now we’re saved, because a man has assured that he likes curves! Hallelujah!
Oh my god, shut up.
There are a million fucking things that go in to anorexia and bulimia than the idea that men want thin women and we should answer that call. I would say that’s NOT part of it--it definitely is, and we are definitely told that we need a man and don’t deserve one if we aren’t pretty (read: thin) enough. But it’s also that the ‘average’ women we are presented with in our shows, our magazines, every ounce of media we are bombarded with every day, is someone who is being presented as normal yet is, by societal standards, incredibly gorgeous and extraordinarily slim. Take a look at your favorite shows. How do the female characters look? How do the male characters look? Which gender gets to be old, to be fat, to have a facial scar? I love Law & Order SVU, but Olivia could not get away with being Munce’s age and expect to be a regular character on that show. If Danny DeVito and Jack Black were women, they would not, in all likelihood, have been able to make it where they are today, even with twice the talent, and if they had, their bodies, and their worth as human beings, would be judged mercilessly by the public eye. Fat men are seen as having failed at fitness, but fat women are seen as having failed at being people.
And sometimes it’s not even about being thin. Sometimes its about wanting some control over your life or your body in a world where both have been taken out of your hands. Sometimes it about wanting some kind of agency over your body after someone took that agency away by force. Sometimes it’s about punishing your body for having been what that someone used to hurt you. Sometimes it’s about trying to make your outside look as frail and fragile as you feel inside because that is the only way you feel allowed to convey your feelings. Sometimes, dear men, it is not about what you and your cock want from us. And when it is, the solution is NOT to assure women that they are fine the way they are because YOU like them. That just maintains the idea that we need approval for our bodies at all, that the way we feel about our bodies should be dependent on how much they please other people instead of if they’re healthy, not to mention the idea that women should be striving for the approval for men in particular.
You like curvy women? Great. You wanna say what you like? Great. But when you phrase it as if it’s the fucking answer to all anorexia ever, you need to sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and get some fucking perspective about just what you’re implying when you basically say that because you prize this body type, women should have it, no matter WHAT that body type is. Don’t tell me shit about what my body “should” have, whether it’s curves or a big butt or a little belly or zero percent body fat. I didn’t ask you. I don’t need your permission. I don’t need your advice. I don’t need your approval. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK AND IT PISSES ME OFF YOU SEEM SO SURE THAT I AND MY VAGINA DO.
(Oh yeah--and some of us don’t have curves because that’s how we are. I really appreciate all the implications that we’re undesirable or only have these bodies because we MUST be sick and starving ourselves. Fuck you again, my “womanliness” (whatever the hell that is) is not defined by my hips being wide anymore than it is by the number on the scale being low.)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
READ ME: The Stripped Project is now taking submissions!
The title says it all. . .almost. Here are some ground rules about the blog's new policy.
By sending me your photograph, you are certifying:
Isn't this exciting? Oh goodie! Now quick, strip!
Email you submissions to Strippeddame@gmail.com
By sending me your photograph, you are certifying:
- That this is your photo and you own the rights to it.
- That you are giving me the rights to use this photo however I see fit.
- Most importantly, you are legally certifying that you are OVER 18.
Isn't this exciting? Oh goodie! Now quick, strip!
Email you submissions to Strippeddame@gmail.com
Labels:
shiny and new,
spread the word,
stripped submissions
Redefining "HEALTH"
I recently heard through the grapevine that a distant acquaintance of mine had expressed absolute horror over this blog, because she believed that I was promoting, glorifying even, an "unhealthy" lifestyle and "unhealthy" bodies. But what exactly is health? Let's take a look.
If you think that fat people are disgusting, and should be excluded from media in favor of thinner, more "attractive" people, that's unhealthy.
If you think "fat" is an insult, that's unhealthy.
If you live on a diet of cottage cheese and yams to maintain your weight, that's unhealthy.
If you feel jealous and embittered every time you see a skinny girl, that's unhealthy.
If you assume that all fat people eat their feelings, are lazy, smelly, or any other fat-phobic stereotype, that's unhealthy.
If you assume that all skinny people are starving themselves, anorexic, or using drugs, that's unhealthy.
If you fixate on your "flaws," that's unhealthy.
If you hate when people compliment your body, that's unhealthy.
If you hate looking at your body, that's unhealthy.
If you feel anything but love and acceptance for you body, that's unhealthy.
What our culture defines as "health" is unhealthy. It is an empty, evil, insane cycle that keeps people too busy to actually think. How many people do you know that are the "perfect" size but still unhappy? "Perfect" at what cost? Heck, celebrities (you know, the people who are supposed to embody the ideal? the ones on the covers of the magazines that we compare ourselves to?) are infamous for being miserably unhappy and self-destructive. I'm not promoting any particular body shape on this blog. I'm promoting body love. Because trust me: you can fix the outside a lot easier than the inside.
Tell me, dear readers: how do you define health?
If you think that fat people are disgusting, and should be excluded from media in favor of thinner, more "attractive" people, that's unhealthy.
If you think "fat" is an insult, that's unhealthy.
If you live on a diet of cottage cheese and yams to maintain your weight, that's unhealthy.
If you feel jealous and embittered every time you see a skinny girl, that's unhealthy.
If you assume that all fat people eat their feelings, are lazy, smelly, or any other fat-phobic stereotype, that's unhealthy.
If you assume that all skinny people are starving themselves, anorexic, or using drugs, that's unhealthy.
If you fixate on your "flaws," that's unhealthy.
If you hate when people compliment your body, that's unhealthy.
If you hate looking at your body, that's unhealthy.
If you feel anything but love and acceptance for you body, that's unhealthy.
What our culture defines as "health" is unhealthy. It is an empty, evil, insane cycle that keeps people too busy to actually think. How many people do you know that are the "perfect" size but still unhappy? "Perfect" at what cost? Heck, celebrities (you know, the people who are supposed to embody the ideal? the ones on the covers of the magazines that we compare ourselves to?) are infamous for being miserably unhappy and self-destructive. I'm not promoting any particular body shape on this blog. I'm promoting body love. Because trust me: you can fix the outside a lot easier than the inside.
Tell me, dear readers: how do you define health?
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